Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize