Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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