A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
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