You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize