Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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