This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
