I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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