He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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