Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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