I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
