Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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