Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm at about main and main street
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
