I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
