Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
