my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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