There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
