I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
how drunk are you?
Several
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
