you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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