Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's shark week go big or go home
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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