U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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