i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
