careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
A bitchslap is in order.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
