I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
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