Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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