So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
