Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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