Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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