you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
