My liver just broke up with me...
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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