do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
