it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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