You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
