Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
