Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm sorry my penis didn't work

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  (301): I'm sorry my penis didn't work http://tfl.nu/tw6r
  Replies (10) Good night (709) Bad night (2285)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  come over anyways, right now, right this second

  (850): View more from Florida

  it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying

  (561): View more from Florida

  wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation

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  (850): come over anyways, right now, right this second (850): it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying (561): wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation http://tfl.nu/cwsr
  Replies (28) Good night (869) Bad night (3053)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.

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  (845): I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred. http://tfl.nu/ocgs
  Replies (11) Good night (1027) Bad night (1918)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.

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  (248): I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/icyg
  Replies (11) Good night (1268) Bad night (2567)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.

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  (804): girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe. http://tfl.nu/ztj4
  Replies (42) Good night (10041) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.

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  (940): and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics. http://tfl.nu/usna
  Replies (12) Good night (2470) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.

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  (607): I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked. http://tfl.nu/k09k
  Replies (12) Good night (4749) Bad night (829)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!

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  (603): thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful! http://tfl.nu/mwds
  Replies (60) Good night (3387) Bad night (7792)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.

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  (404): I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck. http://tfl.nu/f2m7
  Replies (45) Good night (25851) Bad night (1302)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist

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  (817): God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist http://tfl.nu/ubmz
  Replies (12) Good night (1423) Bad night (5356)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.

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  (307): I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American. http://tfl.nu/4si2
  Replies (93) Good night (1595) Bad night (9222)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it

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  (412): I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it http://tfl.nu/8y6r
  Replies (10) Good night (2537) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?

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  (760): Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl? http://tfl.nu/fr90
  Replies (10) Good night (1322) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out

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  (970): I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out http://tfl.nu/cs49
  Replies (7) Good night (1350) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!

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  (903): Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!! http://tfl.nu/fyj1
  Replies (7) Good night (2007) Bad night (414)

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