Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles

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  (319): I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles http://tfl.nu/zz0g
  Replies (7) Good night (2799) Bad night (606)
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  (916): View more from California

  and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse

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  (916): and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse http://tfl.nu/0v20
  Replies (12) Good night (4885) Bad night (1338)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?

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  (561): Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest? http://tfl.nu/07hk
  Replies (29) Good night (1219) Bad night (5909)
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  (909): View more from California

  I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick

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  (909): I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick http://tfl.nu/j8ox
  Replies (4) Good night (1357) Bad night (913)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it

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  (225): Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it http://tfl.nu/wgow
  Replies (8) Good night (1239) Bad night (852)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you

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  (423): You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you http://tfl.nu/8tmy
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Yep. How's your hangover?

  (1-916): View more from California

  It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.

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  (916): Yep. How's your hangover? (1-916): It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me. http://tfl.nu/bn8s
  Replies (8) Good night (1738) Bad night (759)
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  (619): View more from California

  It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.

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  (619): It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him. http://tfl.nu/bq38
  Replies (4) Good night (468) Bad night (1115)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You left wolverine marks

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm somewhere between sorry and proud

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  (910): You left wolverine marks (1-910): I'm somewhere between sorry and proud http://tfl.nu/d8w1
  Replies (2) Good night (1649) Bad night (553)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.

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  (303): It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple. http://tfl.nu/6uwz
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (362)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  On my way

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  (317): it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone. (1-317): On my way http://tfl.nu/kjt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1204) Bad night (385)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!

  (647): View more from Ontario

  That is always a wonderful personality trait!

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  (416): He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him! (647): That is always a wonderful personality trait! http://tfl.nu/blbp
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (310)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.

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  (505): 30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong. http://tfl.nu/knaq
  Replies (5) Good night (639) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille

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  (610): My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille http://tfl.nu/iqrh
  Replies (4) Good night (716) Bad night (260)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  She's 90% sass and 10% boobs

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  (734): She's 90% sass and 10% boobs http://tfl.nu/vt61
  Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (126)

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