What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
