OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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