it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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