Pants 0. Shit 1.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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