I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This is my gift to your gina
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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