just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
