im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
