She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
as a side note pls kill me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
