After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
