He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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