Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
