That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
