do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
