ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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