Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
