I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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