Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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