obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
