hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
