How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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