we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
