why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
