You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
