when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
