dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
