he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
