just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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