hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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