whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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