The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize