Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
